I bought some coffee yesterday for my parents’ upcoming visit. I told myself it wasn’t for me. I promised myself I wouldn’t drink a drop.
But this morning, it was the first thought to pop into my head when I woke up.
My Brain: “Pssst. There’s coffee in the house.”
Me: “F—- off, Brain. I’m, like, so over coffee.”
Brain: “No you’re not. You want some. In fact, you want some really badly. I’m gonna fix it so it’s all you can think about.”
Me: “Whatever. I’m fine. I’m a strong, independent lady who’s taking charge of my health. I’ve got my hot water with lemon and fennel. Which is awesome, btw. I don’t need…”
Brain: “COFFEE COFFEE COFEEE GO MAKE SOME RIGHT NOW!!!”
Me: “Okay, listen. If it’ll shut you up, maybe I’ll have just half a cup. After my lemon-fennel water.”
Brain: “WATER’S FOR CHUMPS! COFFEEEEEEE!!!”
This internal dialog continued all through my morning yoga, my shower and even while I was putting the kettle on for my HOT WATER. “This boiling water would pour so nicely into your french press instead, wouldn’t it now?” Brain said.
Eventually, I gave in. In the end, my feeble resistance couldn’t hold a candle to the thought of that dark, sweet elixir and the glorious start to the day it provides. Devil’s brew, this.
Dennis says I’m a nicer person when I drink coffee. That comment kind of hurt my feelings but if I’m being completely honest, he’s probably not exactly wrong. I justify my coffee in a million different ways but ultimately, I know it’s terrible for me. The fact that I’m this addicted is a clear indication to me that I need to let it go. This little habit is not serving me or my body very well at all.
But oh, coffee. I just can’t quit you!
[Photo via Instagram. Please ignore my man-hands. Yeesh.]